The Protestor's guide to MUMMIES

           If you are protesting in Egypt (or are currently in Egypt as a spectator, Journalist, or Tourist) you might want to know that Mummies have been released from their tombs and are currently running Amok in Egypt. Some may be on their way towards all the action in Cairo. I have compiled a simple guide to Mummies that the people in Egypt may find useful should they encounter one (or more) of these dreadful undead horrors.

The Average Mummy
            The average everyday Mummy looks like a corpse wrapped in burial wraps. If the corpse is in motion (As in moving on it's own) then it is clearly an undead mummy. Beware they are more dangerous than you think they are. Infact if you are a Level 1 Protestor you stand no chance of defeating it alone.

How to distinguish a Poser from a Mummy:
~If you hit a poser they feel pain. A Mummy Feels no pain and continues attacking.
~A Poser will flee from danger. A Mummy will not.
~A poser is not scary. A Mummy is very scary.
~A Poser will smack and push you. A Mummy can pick you up and throw you.

How Mummies Attack:
~Mummies like to slap (Or slam) their victims with their bare mummy hands. They do not use weapons.
~When a Mummy hits you...it hurts. ALOT
~If the Mummy successfully touches you, you must make a Fortitude save of 16 or you get Mummy Rot. Mummy Rot is a cursed disease and there is no cure. You must find a decent Cleric or spell caster to remove the curse. If you do not get the curse removed you will die and turn to dust.
~Mummies do not stop attacjing unless you run away or defeat them.

How to defeat a Mummy:
~ Hit them with at least 60 points of damage. 60 points would be the equivalent of 20-30 baseball bat wacks or 10 sword punctures or like 7 bullets from a gun. But be careful, don't let a Mummy hit you...it can KO you in one hit unless you are better than the average Joe.
~Mummies are prone to fire. Throw a molotov cocktail at it, that might take it down. But Run away as it will lumber after you. There's nothing more scary than a flaming mummy running at you.
~If you can cast spells, use positive energy spells, fire spells or spells meant to defeat the undead.
~Or you can just run away. They don't tend to follow. Besides if you are the average Joe Schmo chances are you will not pass the 16 Will save when you see the Mummy. In other words you will be paralysed with fear and crap yourself.

The Mummy Lord:
            Same as the Mummy but way cooler, way stronger and it can cast 5th level evil Cleric spells. Plus it has armor, lots of bling and you will really Crap yourself if you see one because it usually has an entourage of 10-20 regular mummies. Good Luck. You have zero chance.
     But in the odd event that you are in the military here's how you can take one down.


How to distinguish a Poser from a Mummy Lord:
    Nobody can afford to pose as one. The Mummy Lord has real Gold armor, fancy gems and means business. Anyone decked out like a Mummy Lord will get mugged by the crowd before they reach you.
A real Mummy Lord has a real Horror factor. A fake one does not. If you see a whole wack of people running from something that looks like Lady Gaga it's either a Mummy Lord or it's really Lady Gaga.

How Mummy Lord's attack:
~They beat your ass with their bare hands...and give you mummy rot
~They make you crap your pants thus you run away.
~They use evil Cleric magic powers and kick multiple asses.
~Their Cohorts (Swarms of bugs, other mummies, Lady Gaga, Bieber fanatics etc)

How to defeat a Mummy Lord:
~Napalm
~Law Rockets
~Grenades
~Tanks
~Better Cleric Spells
~Magic
~Harry Potter
~Batman
~Optimus Prime
~Chuck Norris
~Collossal Fire Breathing Dragons

         Hope this is useful. Remember, Mummies hate fire, Stay in large groups, Run from shiny Mummies, and bring extra pairs of pants. And if in Doubt Just flee.