Rock your stockings off! Part 2 of 4 epic Christmas song list

              Time for some Rock songs for the holidays. I actually had a hard time finding awesome rock music. But I found some so here it is! Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93bBrrrXz00 Billy Idol: yellin at the Christmas Tree.     

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN3m6wK1wwc ACDC Mistress for Christmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCLirt141_c&feature=related Sum 41 & Tenacious D: Things I want Yeah I know this one should be under the "Funny" Category but I found it more Rock worthy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGzRBDFFYzw 30 seconds to Mars: Santa Clause through the back door

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmEfFlbqbbY&feature=fvw Twisted Sister: O come all ye faithful.
Because cowbell is festive right???

There you have it. Some rock music to add to your christmas play lists. If rock is not your taste of music and you prefer nice Christmas songs sung by Mariah Carey or Celine Dion or some country singer then you are obviously reading the wrong blog! Merry Christmas everyone...we're all done our shopping and it isn't even December yet. This gives me more time to search for some more epic songs. Have fun at the malls suckers!

Home sweet Home..

                  I'm bored and I felt the need to vent about my owner/Master. Her name is Jess, she's 23 years old and has issues. Issue Number 1. It's Mid November...the tree in the picture above has been up since October 29th! It's Mid November and those are wrapped presents under it. We have a small fake tree on a table because the pets would destroy a real or larger tree. All it takes is one cat to hide in the tree from the dog and instant disaster so Jess felt the need to pull this tree out, set it up and put presents under it before December. Some of those presents were wrapped in August. OCD Christmas much? Oh and this is nothing...

   Where on Earth does one put that extra small tree? Well on top of the toilet of course. This is so tacky. Whats worse is she is proud of this accomplishment. Yes it's tacky but now that we live in a Hick town it's all good.  I'd like to point out that this looks like a bad prison photo. Also the walls need better paint as steam from the shower stains them and makes the walls look crappy! But anyways here's the tree decorated with toilet paper rools as well as half a T.P roll as a star/angel...the worst joke so far happens to be "leave a present under the tree." If you don't get it, your just plain dumb. By the way...don't forget to flush the present when your done.

The creepist window display ever. Yes that's an old porcelain doll, a clown and a country style sewn bunny in the window. There's a tacky macreme floral cat too but it's thankfully blocked. Why are these things even in the window? Jess says she had no better place to put them and she enjoys staring at a clown as she does the dishes. Is my Master disturbed? More than likely. Is this window disturbing? No it could actually be worse.

Because every normal person has a yogurt machine in their kitchen. Yes that machine that the cat is sleeping on is a working soft serve yogurt machine. You throw a yogurt bar in with a cup of fruit, pull a lever, the auger crushes the fruit and yogurt bar and voila soft serve yogurt! It's yummy stuff. But this isn't so bad, what's bad is Jess is decorating the things with Knick knacks like that fancy welcome sign in the front. And to the left is an industrial coffee maker. Because the small one just wan't cutting it they need 2 burners instead of 1.

And here I am with the Dog (Her name is Seven of Nine.) and One of the 3 cats (O'Malley). Oh and that's Jess' butt but you have to look hard to see it as it's so small. One might say "What ass?" which is a factual statement. The most messed up thing about this post though is the fact Jess made fun of herself and is giving all the credit to me! Anadralius! A Plastic Dragon. I'd go on and on some more with my oppinions about my wonderful geeky Master but...there's just too much to mention and I don't want to scare anyone. So there you have it...hope you enjoyed the tour of some of our sweet home. Thankfully the plans to put a microwave in the bedroom were scrapped, for now anyways.

This Hicktown Rocks

              Norwood Ontario population 1300 (Okay it's more like 5000 but the sign which hasn't been changed in like 20 years says 1300). A town this small obviously gets the name "Hick town". We have one set of traffic lights, everyone knows everything about everyone and there's no Tim Horton's coffee shop! The Timmies is in the next Hick town over which is a 10 minute drive.
               But despite Norwood being a hick town that not many have heard of I'd like to let everyone know our little hick town produced 3 amazing rock bands. All 3 are known, all 3 are awesome and all 3 have roots in Norwood.

Three Days Grace: 

Three Days Grace not only makes great music they are very down to Earth People. Nothing pisses me off more than a celebrity who walks around like they are all "That". These boys come home. Brad Walst the Base player has a son who goes to the public school. Everyone knows them, talks to them as if they were just regular hometown boys and the best part is they act like they are right at home in this little hick town. They threw a benifit concert at the Community Center back in 2008 to help raise funds for the new community center. "My Darkest Days" Opened for them that night. "My Darkest Days" Is the other band that has Norwood roots and they have also become a successful band.
          Brad Walst, Adam Gontier and Neil Sanderson all have Norwood roots. The band was called Groundswell back in 1992 but they broke up. They then got back together, recruited Barry Stock as a guitarist and became Three Days Grace in 1997. Their first single was "I Hate Everything about you." they now have multiple hit songs. "Pain" "Never too late" "Just like you" just to name a few.

My Darkest Days:

My Darkest Days was founded by Matt Walst who is from Norwood and is the brother of Brad Walst the Bassist of Three Days Grace. Chad Kroeger (Nickleback) Heard them and  signed them to his record lable. Their first single hit was "Porn Star Dancing" after they were signed. Now that's the only Single they have so far that went national (They play some of their older songs on the radio in this area). This band is new on the scene but they are good and they are hopefully going to produce some more rocking music.
Check out "Porn Star Dancing" thier first Hit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2Fnet0y9Ts


Art Of Dying:
While this band was not established here in Norwood They do have a Norwood local as their Bassist. Cale Gontier. He's the cousin of Adam Gontier. Cale is also a bassist for Thronley. He was also Three Days Grace's Guitar Technician. So  adding Thornley to the list that technically makes 4 bands that have Norwood talent. Art of Dying plays songs locally at the Legion, Thornley and My Darkest Days have also played many gigs at our Legion. They can't seem to stay away from our Legion!The Legion is the only place in town that serves alcohol after 9pm so I don't really blame them.

 I reccomend checking Art Of Dying if you have not heard of them. They are a hard rock group, they sound great and have all around awesome music. I went through all their songs on youtube and I happened to liked them all."You Don't Know me"    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4NVrUSvTbI  Is a pretty good song. Click the link and check it out.

I'd go through how these 3 (plus more) bands are connected but I'm too lazy to do the reasearch to tell you which band members switched bands or started new ones or whatever. All I can say is Norwood is definately the roots of Three Days Grace and has produced talents in My Darkest Days as well as Thornley and Art Of Dying. Norwood doesn't have any other known bands of other genres (That I am aware of) But it's still good to know that Norwood produces good Rock stars and not Justin Biebers :D
   Oh and for those who still don't know where the hell Norwood is, it's located East of Peterborough Ontario right before Havelock Ontario (Home of the biggest red neck country music convention in Canada...the Havelock Country Jambouree).  You drive right up Highway 7 and it'll go right through Norwood. But people don't stop here because Havelock has the Tim Horton's and we do not. But We have great Rock Stars so HA! Screw you Havelock Ontario!

Part 1 of 4: Epic Christmas songs.

            Funny Songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-Mce9VpmY The Night Santa Went Crazy: Weird Al

                

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4  Twelve days of Christmas: Bob and Doug

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCfnZFP2tLM Down with the Christmas: Down with the sickness parody. The singing isn't the best...its not bad but not the best either. However, I rather like the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wskT6YfVB6E&feature=related  Jingle Bombs: Achmed the dead terrorist. Everyone loves Achmed. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yasSkqJBytk  12 pains of Christmas by Bob Rivers. Actually this link is great. It's the Ruin Scape parody and is really well done. So all my geeky followers if you haven't seen this one you'll enjoy it.

There you have it. 5 of my all time favorite funny christmas songs. Next week will be the top 5 Rockin Christmas songs.  I'll also post more funny songs as there are tonnes. There's just too many parodies out there and the parodies are so much better than the original versions. So Hope you enjoy.

This week's Doody (Oct 31st-Nov 5th)

Rule 48? What???

Joe Thornton Captain of the Sharks got a 2 day suspension and a fine for hitting a St.Louis Blue's player; David Perron in the head. It was quite the nice head shot ,however, I'd like to point out a few things. Perron practically ran into Thornton, he faked an injury...yes he cried like a little girl and acted like he was going to die. Oh but then Perron went and scored a goal later! Oh and the NHL keeps pulling new rules out of it's ass. Hockey is getting boring, and I miss the good ol days...where there was no rule number whatever. Plus we all know the refs are really tough when people break these new rules but after a few months they are soon forgotten OR the refs just get lazy and pretend they saw nothing! I mean come on! Thornton didn't actually reach out and clock the guy he merely did a center ice check...which caused much over dramatic faking of a head injury. I couldn't even fathom what would have happened if he had done this to Crosby...maybe a 2 month suspension? Not for hitting Crosby in the head though...more for making Sid The Kid whine and cry...we don't want to put up with that. There should actually be a new rule put in place specifically for Sid the Kid. Actually scratch that, pretend I never wrote that.




1.5 million fine damn those must be expensive songs!
         Get this. A single mother of 4 downloads 24 songs and gets hit with a 1.5 million dollar fine. And they are serious about it! They can't keep murderers in jail but they can certainly screw over someone for illegally downloading music. Which I must add would have cost $24 to download off iTunes. But the record companies want money because they are greedy bastards...like $1 a song isn't good enough? You have to harass a freaking single mother? Who does that? heaven forbid if Octomom gets caught downloading illegal songs we'd have to put up with more BS tabloid coverage on her. The lesson here is this: Don't be a pirate...but if you are don't get caught. Download millions of songs to make it worthwhile for them to fine you and if you don't like getting fined install some high power magnets in your doorway so that when your hard drive is ceased it gets screwed over...every pirate should know that little trick! Downloading is really really wrong...go murder someone instead you'll get a lesser fine for it.

Stay away from Fat people

A new study suggests that "Obese people cause a ripple effect among non-obese peers. The more non-obese peers an obese person has the greater the chance that these non-obese peers will become obese as well." Essentially if your fat and you chill with alot of Skinny people they may pick up on your habits and become fat like you. Isn't that just grand? Who the hell came up with this BS study? Why is it important? Why do people even give a rats ass? And what happens if a skinny person hangs out with all fat people? Do the Fat people lose weight? So it's okay for a skinny person to have many fat friends but not cool for a fat person to have skinny friends...I'm confused. This is an American study so it probably only applies to the USA. Not canada obviously. I mean it's clear that it doesn't apply to Canada as I have a great test subject. My master hangs out with a bunch of overweight friends (Mainly the gaming group) and they a) have not lost weight and b) she hasn't gained any. And everyone sits on their asses (Including her) for hours rolling Dice and talking while eating alot of crap. So I think this study is stupid. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/yahoocanada/101105/canada/overweight_friends_fueling_obesity_epidemic_in_u_s incase you don't believe me I posted the link to the article.

Guy Fawkes day!

 Guy Fawkes plotted to blow up the British Parliament in 1605...and to celebrate people have bon fires. Especially Canadians. A Bon fire in November is great! I didn't even know who the hell Guy Fawkes was until today...but I wish I had known this because any excuse to make a fire is a good excuse. So have a bon fire and remember the 5th of November! I have a Twilight book to go burn. Not in a bon fire because it's too wet outside to have one...we're just fortunate enough to have a fireplace to burn stuff in. Happy Guy Fawkes day!

KKK

Oh yes, go to the Legion dressed as a KKK member complete with the confederate flag while having your friend in tow...face painted black and all. I actually know these people...we're not far from Campbellford Ontario. They won first place for their creation and the Legion got shut down for an investigation. The guy who dressed up as the KKK member is very sorry for his actions. He's also a former Toronto Police officer. Now here's why this is wrong: 1. A guy who knows better dressed up as a KKK member for halloween 2. The Legion let them in! 3. Not only did the Legion let them in they gave them a prize for best costume!
   The excuse being used is poor judgment...but I believe since it's the legion Alcohol was likely a factor. And now I have to hear this story every 5 minutes because we live in a small town 10 minutes from where this took place and everyone knows the guy and small towns just love to gossip. Scandalicious!

And this concludes this weeks Doody!

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

         The one thing I hate most about the Christmas season is the awful cheery Christmas carols they play on the radio. There is nothing worse than my Master merrily singing along horribly to all these songs. Sometimes she mocks them and then it gets even worse >< I particularly dislike cheery music. If it's not upbeat, funny or sarcastic then I won't listen to it. And I'm not talking Hip hop upbeat either I'm talking Death metal upbeat...you know screaming and plenty of bass and drums? Yeah I totally understand, you just don't get it...if you do then rock on.
          So this season to get into the spirit of Christmas. I have decided to search for 20 of the best Christmas songs out there. Bands make Christmas songs, there are songs that mock Christmas songs and there are some funny ass songs out there to be found. So this is my project. I will hunt these good songs down and by listening to them I should get into the Spirit of the holidays. My plans for being the Christmas tree top have been spoiled as apparently I weigh too much. I'm still up for being a centerpiece though so the more good songs I find the more decorations I shall wear. I know there's a little Santa hat somewhere and I could use a bit of tinsel assuming the cats don't eat it (You know cats and tinsel just do not mix...come on any cat owner knows what I'm talking about! Tinsel ass!)
           Alright...now off to find an epic Christmas song play list. have any good suggestions leave a comment.

Leave it to Beav...Bieber

           Millions of teen girls. In love with the same boy. Obsessed, willing to defend at any time. These girls will die for this boy. They get jealous when he pays attention to a girl other than them. The girl who meets him must die! So should anyone who disses him of course. The girls say they will ALWAYS love him, they'll be there till the end. It's different...it's true. It's not like New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys or N'sync...nooo this is totally different. This kid is like the next Micheal Jackson and these girls will love him until the end. As much as I dis like Micheal Jackson...he will always be better than this Beaver kid. I mean Thriller is an awesome song but Beaver hasn't come up with a single song worth...well...anything other than the love of millions of brain dead zombie teen girls (And maybe a few gay boys too...oh and Pedophiles...we can't leave the pedo's out).
             I have news for you ladies. In about...5ish years maybe less...perhaps more depending on how brain dead you are, your going to not love Justin Bieber as much. You will not be obsessed to the point of going to his defence every five seconds when another celeb goes and disses him. By the way Eminem is so going to have a feild day dissing this kid up. Well Assuming he's brave enough to diss the Biebs, Eminem might not want a million crazy girls attacking him with their screeching anger. There is nothing more irritating than a overly angry teen girl having a temper tantrum.Perhaps Weird Al will make a parody...or maybe not if he doesn't want to scare his valued fans. But anyway in 5 years you will be saying "Justin who?"
               Here's my reasoning. I (Well not me I was born in 2007...the person who owns me and clearly is pathetic enough to write these blogs on my behalf) was a teen once. "I was in love with this guy who may or may not have known of my existence...oh please please please I hope he doesn't know me that would be bad. Anyways when I was in grade 9/10 I was obsessed with some guy at the Bieber obsession level. I just had nobody to express my obsession with as I never met anyone else who loved him as much as I did. I was destined to marry this guy even though I'd likely have cardiac arrest if he ever spoke to me. Okay okay there was this one time he almost spoke to me but I actually walked away and went home for lunch...this makes a really funny story so shut up! I was in love and yes when someone messed with this guy I took offense...I sent him the world's most pathetic Valentines day card in the world...home made and (Okay I really would like to never speak of that again ><) But see...about 2 years later I got over him and looked back on how retarded I was. It became more of an admiration, less of an obsession and more of a "Oh crap I really hope he doesn't remember ANYTHING other than that time my friend and I wrecked all havoc at a hockey game and almost got booted out for our obnoxious behavior...good times) So there I had a silly teen crush just like EVERY other teen girl. I know how deep your connection is with this Beaver Boy and all but 1. You are NEVER going to marry him 2. Your going to hate him in 5 years 3. His music sucks 4. The Lyrics will be meaningless eventually they really are not genius but you clearly seem to think so and 5. you will grow up, find a guy to love and he will not put up with your Bieber loving BS so your choice will be to make your man happy or obsess over a loser who has no freaking clue who you are (Even if he dedicates all his stupid tweets to EVERYONE)"
               So have your fun Beliebers...it's just a teen thing...your obsessed over guys who sound like little girls when they sing. Oh and sparkly Vampires we can't leave them out. You've got a good few years of obsessing madly on twitter. A few years of driving your parents insane every time you insist they play your stupid JB CD in the car. A few years of annoying the folk on twitter who do not obsess over Justin and a few years to grow up, face the real world and have some real fun! Trust me in a few years you'll be obsessing over how much the government screws us in the ass and how crappy this world really is with or without that Beaver Boy. The real world is harsh sweeties and your parents THEY'RE TELLING THE TRUTH! (Unless they are on welfare for no important reason other than the fact it's easier to live that way) so good luck to society.

Sincerely the messed up mind of @gnomedruid and @epicreddragon

Hoarding 101

                This is a good hoard right here in the above picture. The Minion went Trick or treating and here is all her loot. We're fortunate enough to live in a small town where we know EVERYONE who was shelling out loot so there was minimal checking of candy. I helped checked the quality of candy of course. I was very sad when they took this hoard of candy from me. I mean I should be entitled to at least 10% since I went trick or treating too.

Here's the big happy family...I dressed as a Jedi...or was it lady Gaga...maybe Gaga Jedi? Whatever I was dressed in a pink boa with a pink glow stick so there. Master was a witch (How creative) The Minion is obviously a Cat and Master's Husband just randomly threw on the fish hat...theres a knitted fish eating his head...Master's husband is one of those last minute Halloween costume type of guys...no effort what so ever.

 Here's the living room. All the stuff from the store had to go somewhere and well...here it is. This is bad hoarding. Or at least it feels like it. We could not get to the couches, theres was no room to do anything etc. No worries though...it's all been put away. It took 5 hours but it's all organized, out of the way and the Livingroom is back to normal. But wait...there's more...

 This is the guest room. It is impossible to enter. There's a mountain of random stuff. Some of it is actually important but most will be organized and put in a yard sale next year. Our town has a crazy yard sale day. Saturday of the Victoria Day long weekend pretty much every yard has a sale. Master has been told she can't go yard saling next year, she's to have a yard sale instead. If we go buy more junk...we'll surely end up on hoarders sometime in  the near future.

The Dinning room table. More random stuff. Mainly knick knacks but somehow Master is finding places for these knick knacks. I have no clue where she's putting them but she's managing to find places so far.

The sink...all I have to say is...Good luck.

Where is alot of stuff going you ask? In the fire place of course. Kind of like this Justin Bieber picture. Master was saving it to create a conroversial photo and well here it is! "Justin your so Hot your on Fire!" He's burning nicely too! Tomorrow we burn the book of Scientology as well as some Twilight posters (Also saved for the fire...well originally it was saved for Master's little Sisters in Law but why would she support a disease?) So Fire place is helping us get rid of garbage and it might cause some uproar if this ever gets out. So there you go. Hoarding 101...only hoard if your going to do something with the hoard like we are. Such as eating it, yard saling it or burning it. Master was given a month to put everything away...but she can probably do it by the end of the week. Burning things is fun too plus it keeps the house nice and warm. And as long as nobody touches MY hoard I won't complain.