Home sweet Home..

                  I'm bored and I felt the need to vent about my owner/Master. Her name is Jess, she's 23 years old and has issues. Issue Number 1. It's Mid November...the tree in the picture above has been up since October 29th! It's Mid November and those are wrapped presents under it. We have a small fake tree on a table because the pets would destroy a real or larger tree. All it takes is one cat to hide in the tree from the dog and instant disaster so Jess felt the need to pull this tree out, set it up and put presents under it before December. Some of those presents were wrapped in August. OCD Christmas much? Oh and this is nothing...

   Where on Earth does one put that extra small tree? Well on top of the toilet of course. This is so tacky. Whats worse is she is proud of this accomplishment. Yes it's tacky but now that we live in a Hick town it's all good.  I'd like to point out that this looks like a bad prison photo. Also the walls need better paint as steam from the shower stains them and makes the walls look crappy! But anyways here's the tree decorated with toilet paper rools as well as half a T.P roll as a star/angel...the worst joke so far happens to be "leave a present under the tree." If you don't get it, your just plain dumb. By the way...don't forget to flush the present when your done.

The creepist window display ever. Yes that's an old porcelain doll, a clown and a country style sewn bunny in the window. There's a tacky macreme floral cat too but it's thankfully blocked. Why are these things even in the window? Jess says she had no better place to put them and she enjoys staring at a clown as she does the dishes. Is my Master disturbed? More than likely. Is this window disturbing? No it could actually be worse.

Because every normal person has a yogurt machine in their kitchen. Yes that machine that the cat is sleeping on is a working soft serve yogurt machine. You throw a yogurt bar in with a cup of fruit, pull a lever, the auger crushes the fruit and yogurt bar and voila soft serve yogurt! It's yummy stuff. But this isn't so bad, what's bad is Jess is decorating the things with Knick knacks like that fancy welcome sign in the front. And to the left is an industrial coffee maker. Because the small one just wan't cutting it they need 2 burners instead of 1.

And here I am with the Dog (Her name is Seven of Nine.) and One of the 3 cats (O'Malley). Oh and that's Jess' butt but you have to look hard to see it as it's so small. One might say "What ass?" which is a factual statement. The most messed up thing about this post though is the fact Jess made fun of herself and is giving all the credit to me! Anadralius! A Plastic Dragon. I'd go on and on some more with my oppinions about my wonderful geeky Master but...there's just too much to mention and I don't want to scare anyone. So there you have it...hope you enjoyed the tour of some of our sweet home. Thankfully the plans to put a microwave in the bedroom were scrapped, for now anyways.