1. Have Aurora (My minion/masters 4 year old daughter) clog the toilet one last time! It's just so much fun taking the toilet appart to unclog say a cloth or a few toys. Aurora has flushed toys down that toilet countless times and each time the toilet had to be lifted up and stuff fished out. This makes one hell of a mess sometimes. After she flushes a few things down go flush happy...take some dumps in the toilet, flush some tampons down the toilet...make it nasty as hell. Because the clean freak Biatch deserves it! :D
2. Release some roaches. If roaches can't be found crickets will do and they are cheap as hell. Besides Roaches are sometimes unoticeable. Just dump about 50 crickets somewhere and leave.
3. Trail of fake mouse dumpings. Chocolate sprinkles sure do look like mouse poop. Have a few Zhu Zhu pet hampsters running amok too. They are very annoying and the batteries actually have a long life span. They might even contain Gasp Harmful chemicals! (Oh wait no they don't they recalled the Zhu Zhui pets with Pthalates already...ah crap!)
4. Mothballs. Dump a whole box of mothballs in places they will be hard to locate. Mothballs smell bad, they are quite unhealthy and the smell lingers for weeks!
5. Tell the villiage idiot who's purchased the store. Why? Because the new owner actually hates Shirley (the villiage idiots name is shirley) she hates shirley more than master, me and her best friend combined. Tell Shirley that Mrs. Crabapple is the new owner and mentioned she missed shirley so so much! This is PURE EVIL. Shirley is another blog altogether. I'm going to blog about this crazy person next!
6. Let the minion loose with a magic marker. Enough said.
7. Leave roadkill in the storage shed. :D Perhaps that deer head that was lying on the middle of Highway 7 the other morning? I'm sure another 18 wheeler will mutilate another deer soon. If deer cant be found there are plenty of skunks and beavers along the highway.
8. Shop at store everyday. Because we annoy the hell out of the new owner. Just go and hang out. Drink some coffee first of course. Best of all bring the minion.
9. send owners best friends in to have major spousal fight. At least weekly. Make sure its durring busy hours.
10. make a pact with all students from elementary school/highschool. They a)dislike new owner and b)love master because master is apparently cool (May be the fact she still looks 12) the kids can be disrespectful when they feel like it. Especially in large groups. The 8th grade particularily are very annoying. Those kids fear NOTHING and have big mouths. Bribe them with candy they'll do anything. They'll terrorize like nobody's business.
None of the above will happen...unfortunately. But it would be oh so much fun! The problem is Master is too damn nice even to those who constantly screw her over and make her life hell. When she has a backbone she feels guilty if she hurts someones feelings or ego...so within a day she actually appologizes for standing her ground. Me on the other hand...well I am that backbone but clearly I don't rule. One day though...one day! But until that day I'd like to bask in the idea of hilarious havoc. Theres probably more that could be done as means of revenge but they are too evil to write...I could possibly get in deep doody. However Master is considering idea #5...wait shes confirmed it. She shall release the Shirley. Out of all my evil Ideas she chooses the one thats pure evil! Best of all, it's out of our hands muwahahahahahahahahaha.
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