Yes I know I'm late writing this...but it's not like many people even read my blog anyway so guess what? I don't care. This is for my amusement anyways and I enjoy chatting with myself and the cat rather enjoys my thoughts as well. But whatever...here's Last weeks Doody.
ARMAGEDDON!
Talk of...Yes I know the above picture is the Capital wasteland for all you Fall out 3 nerds...okay talk of mass animal deaths, floods, earthquakes, wars, The Toronto Maple Leafs getting 9 goals in a single game and the ever so creeping up year of 2012 have sparked people to yell out "End Of times." 5000 birds randomly dropped dead in Arkansas then 500 more in Louisiana then fish, more fish and more birds were plastered over last weeks news. And now nobody cares because no new deaths have occured. There is speculations on how the birds died and my theory is rednecks. Blame the rednecks. Why? They were firing off "Fireworks" and by fireworks I mean shotguns. Birds can't see a damn thing at night so they bumped into stuff. The Birds in Louisiana were in a bird cult and ate arsenic laced worms in hopes of meeting a spaceship in their deaths to take them away from this crappy hell hole. As for fish they die all the time. The crabs that died in the UK go through mass deaths every 2-5 years or so. The Leafs getting 9 goals in a game...well that might be a sign of end times OR the other team was simply drunk or something. If end times are near then good news everyone! We won't have to file our dreaded taxes so it's time to celebrate.
Vanity...what?
Um...I'm taken aback by this cover that I will be subjegated to seeing every trip to the grocery store. Good thing I won't get out much this month. Let me start off by saying I am deeply disturbed. There is kiss marks all over him and I think he's being grabbed by a zombie and he may have jizzed in his pants by the expression on his face. Now underage teeny boppers can experience Vanity fair and pedophiles will finally have reason to purchase a copy of the magazine usually aimed at the older crowd. Well not this month. These zines will fly off shelves so millions of girls can worship the kid who clearly jizzed his pants. Whatever happened to girls gawking over jocks? What happened to the days freshman girls crushed on the senior with the biker jacket and motor cycle? Where did those times go? Jocks everywhere are suffering because freshman gals are now following the gay skinny kid with the Bieber hair doo around because they think he's eye candy. It's just not normal! And this magazine cover still disturbs me ALOT! All you freshman teeny boppers need to wake up and chase some jocks...you're chances of actually dating one are slim but alot less slim than dating Bieber. Besides the lucky girl or boy who dates Bieber will probably get assasinated by some psycho obsessed fan(s). Bieber you may have the hearts of millions of girls but you also have a curse...good luck getting into a nice normal relationship, it aint happening.
All in the name of BEER
Beer Vats. 45 meters long, 7 meters high. There are 6 of them and they need to make a journey from Hamilton Ontario to Toronto Ontario's Molson Brewery. The journey began and it will take about 4 days. Traffic will be disrupted, Powerlines will have to be taken down in many places. Accurate turns must be made. Some poles will have to be taken down as well. All in the name of Beer. The vats began the journey in Germany and are needed at Canada's famous Molson Brewery. The planning is massive. Canadians pride in their beer so there likely won't be too many complaints. I won't be surprised to hear of spectators standing in awe by the beer vat route, salivating and worshipping those vats. It's as if the Pope has arrived in town...beer lovers from near and far will come to welcome these 6 lovely new beer vats that will be making their beer soon. Hats off.
Lauren Conrad No longer a blonde.
This headline popped up and I began laughing at the irony...okay, okay I know it means she dyed her hair brown. But Come on...Read the headline! I am not a fan of this Lauren chick...I have witnessed a whole half hour of the Hills and wanted to die. The girl is ALWAYS crying, her voice is annoying, her friends are annoying, the show is annoying. Audrina is even a "Blonde". hair color means nothing. Some people have Blonde moments and others are just full out Blondes like LC. In my oppinion she needs to shock the world and go goth.
Taylor to make another break up song
Taylor broke up with her boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal. No surprise there. But the world was in shock...even if they all saw it comming. Who will Taylor date next? Who knows. Who cares? Depends on what or who she dates? Maybe she will; shock the world by going Goth? We will have to wait and find out.
Russia Kicks Canadian ass
Team Russia won at world Juniors, Canadian boys went home satisfied with Silver, Russia gets kicked off flight home for being too drunk, Canadians get over the loss after 2 days and the world goes on. It doesn't matter if we win or lose we all have to return to our daily grind the next day. Canadians need stuff to complain about anyway so I assure you many people vented by the water cooler.
Real Life Super Heroes
Every town needs guys like these. A group of guys like these walking around with weapons and video recorders.
Seattle has it's own suited up super heroes who walk around stopping crimes. Watch the link above, it's Epic. I would like to see more of these guys in other cities. Cops are one thing but seeing superheroes is waaaay cooler. It's interesting...maybe drug dealers and bank robbers will dress as villians making the news much more interesting. "And in todays news Pheonix Jones stops the Bieburgalar from robbing yet another 13 year old girl of her heart."
That's it folks. Hope you enjoyed last weeks Doody.
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